Facebook

Facebook is akin to disease, but not the kind of disease in which you leave the doctor's office with a lollipop in hand. Facebook is the kind of disease that causes widespread panic and terror. An epidemic of unparalleled proportions. One of deformity, destruction, anguish... fear. One that is impossible to cure, but almost a rite of passage to procure. Delete your account, but you will never get away. The constant nagging in the back of your mind about whether he's on Facebook now, or who she's in a "complicated relationship" with will continue to haunt you. Like the common STD, there is no true escape from the evil pestilence that is Facebook. Millions are signed in at this precise moment and if the fact that you know exactly what I mean when I say "signed in" is not evidence enough to the fact that there is no escape, then I can no longer pretend to be of any help to you. You are in too deep, as am I. Will no one save me from the wretch of a human that I have become? Or like the leper am I doomed to be shunned for the remainder of my days? Surrounded by the likewise ill. Forever condemned to a life of internet chatting, faceless conversations and waiting for nothingness to consume me as I slowly drift further and further from humanity and all that is good. Beware of Facebook. It will bring no good to your life. Only pain and suffering can come from its presence. For those of you already lost within the sickness. I mourn for you; may you mourn for me.

And with that I end my silly rant against Facebook caused by the boredom that is Monday night. I'm going to go check if he's online again.